What have you done, you idiot?”.
Rajat and I shouted at Yogi in chorus. I don’t know why we forgot we were attending Mr.Chaudhary’s NACP lecture.(The man who almost raped me in his very 1st class for wearing low rise jeans teamed with wrist bands and other accessories that is common with almost every college guy. I guess its just complex and jealousy of not wearing such clothes themselves..Huh!!!)
The result, all three of us were enjoying Navy Cut( I know people smoking Navy Cut are not treated in Apollo, but who cares in college, I am ashamed of smoking it , Yogi and I have switched to Classic Milds now and Rajat has quit smoking for good.) just outside the college gate. Mr. Chaudhary didn’t knw we have been rewarded on the very 1st day of the Navratras for keeping fast( he thought he has punished us , poor baldy!! Rewarded(taunt for Rajat who was good at studies and literally for yogi and me for we having the relief of not attending the Hitler’s lecture)
I was infuriated with Yogi ‘coz we had decided last day that we would be keeping all nine days fast and not break this fast , leave beside non-veg (Shawarma nad chicken biryani was our staple diet, and we all knew it was really hard, specially for Yogi and me). Yogi had ate the whole lunch box in the very first class, that was filled with delicious chicken macaroni, courtesy Mr. Cool Dude, Faiz Raza.
“ Fuck you Yogi!! “ I almost lunged at him.( I don’t know whether it was due to the fact I didn’t get the opportunity to have the macaroni or due to the promise of keeping fast on the navratras. Rajat shouted because he is god fearing like all Allahabadi Brahmins are)
“ Fuck you.. Mr. “Nobody” !!” Yogi retaliated , I know its very difficult to make Yogi realize about his mistakes, but I had to as I would be missing all the lips smacking non veg dishes that were served in the CC , NFC. His remarks are harsh sometimes but Mr . Nobody .Fuck Mr. Fat ass . I clenched my teeth in anger but was wise enough not to hit the Yogi Bear (Bear weighs more that 100 kgs). I almost leveled my irregular surfaces front tooth. I believe people can do this tooth leveling job and refrain themselves from paying huge dentist bills just by getting humiliated remarks and clenching teeth.
Rajat ,the guy who thinks a lot , calculates and then wait for the right moment to hit (yes he hits , not literally but does it to the mind when ever he speaks).
I was looking at Mr. Super Clever, wise, and what not, smiling away at us as if two kids were fighting to sit on a see-saw obviously thinking of how would it look like when there is 120 kgs at on eend and a nere 62 at the another. I finally signaled him to say something .
“Guys, I knew already that you both can fuck each other only”..(Now, why the hell did Mr. Perfect say this. He is no Brad Pitt.)
“Rajat, don’t change the fucking topic. You only find reasons for criticizing someone.” I screamed back.
P.S. To be continued..till then kep bloggong..Cheers
Showing posts with label Personal... Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal... Show all posts
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Come in or get lost !!!!!
Humans use certain physical gestures to describe certain actions. For eg. humans act like playing a Damru when they have to say that they do not know about the topic asked (crazy yet funny). Similarly, when people shrug their shoulders, it might mean a couple of different things
1) you don’t care.
2) you are clueless.
Now, you must be thinking that these gestures could be interpreted on the basis of the circumstances involved, but , sometimes either it’s a bad luck or the person is the biggest jackass, who does just the opposite of what the gesture is meant for.
Well, I have always had a confusion understanding these Human gestures because trust me there are certain gestures that definitely mean more than one thing, like flying a kite :)(boys in India, as confirmed by a survey, see(http://digg.com/educational/Worldwide_Average_Age_of_Virginity_Loss_2) wait till the age of 19.8, now how does this weird figure is given by these survey people, anyways I don't agree with this , because logically thinking males start realizing the purpose of their very own hands and its sole purpose, till the time they get the the chance to explore why condoms are made for!!)I just mentioned this as you may compare the kite flying with the M process.
Now , there are certain circumstances which for the sake of understanding is termed as “Laugh at me “ circumstances(only I have termed it ) and the following incident had to happen infront of 63, may be 64 people (I don’t remember) (.Fuck the bad luck)
A young handsome first year engg. college stud dressed in slim fit jeans and a body hugging t-shirt was very confident to make a Tom Cruise - Top Gun entry in his very first class.
It was a sunny but breezy,( because of the greenery around the college campus) August morning (typically as that in , New friends colony, New Delhi). The wind trying hard to mess up his well gelled long hair but at last our boy had the last laugh. His biceps flexing as he makes an entry into the college(obviously when girls took notice) his chest expands a full 4 inches.
A few minutes later just when he was making an entrance in the class (not at all afraid of reaching a well 15 minutes late for the class) with a smile on the face …
“May I come in sir??” (his eye on all the pretty ladies in the front row)
The prof didn’t say anything (probably as it was the first lecture), but just did something with the first two fingers of his right hand as if giving final strokes with a brush to his masterpiece (his eyes stuck deep inside the book as if the oldie was reading the P*** book first time after his college days).
The boy without saying anything came out of the class and started walking back , when he heard a roar of laughter from his class , he swiveled back with a intriguing spirit (now spirits all bogged down and a sense of becoming a subject of mockery in front of the whole class), and to add to his misery he saw the prof standing out and shouting(trying to roar but sounded like a sheepish yelp)
Hey!! Where do you think you are going?
The confused boy ( you all must have now realized who this joker was) replied
“Sir , I am sorry but you only signaled me to leave ..”
“Stupid I was signaling u to come in, you fool”(I have always believed that these gestures are confusing!!!!)
Imagine the first day , first class in the college (with all the publicity n praise I wanted to have) resulted in a night mare.
Well, now you must be thinking that what was supposed to be a dream entry for me had become a never healing sore for the rest of my life. That’s what I thought after this incident but the Almighty had a sweet surprise in store for me.
Later , I came to know that the students were not laughing at me but at the prof for a fresher just walking out of his class like a freedom fighters used to do counter attack those cruel and satanic colonial Britishers,( The prof had asked the student that where did I go after his Bloody hand signal).
And yes after that I had to live up to the expectations of my class mates and some delhi girls who thought I am cool n daring (trust me I am the biggest fool on earth!!..daring, may be Rajat YKS Sumit Rahul or Agastya will tell you better . Now don't strain ur brains out thinking who the hell are thay? These smart asses will be discussed later in my next posts..trust me you would have never met such punters!!) about doing these daring things again and again .(never told them that I misunderstood the prof’s action)
After this incident I vowed to understand all these physical gestures Thanks to youtube I can now say that I understand them properly.
Like, just now Agastya is showing the ring in his middle finger, a green sapphire, beautiful I must say.(I don’t why is he showing it, I have been looking at it since 5 years now and have praised it a lot, anyway , I will praise his ring again).
“Nice ring brother. I love that, but I have seen and praised it a hundred times!” I smiled at Agastya.
Everybody in the room where I was telling the truth about the above incident stared at me with dumbstruck eyes, even the house fly that was flying around me slammed itself against the wall after hearing me. Everybody looked at each other and then there was half an hour laughing session in the room.
1) you don’t care.
2) you are clueless.
Now, you must be thinking that these gestures could be interpreted on the basis of the circumstances involved, but , sometimes either it’s a bad luck or the person is the biggest jackass, who does just the opposite of what the gesture is meant for.
Well, I have always had a confusion understanding these Human gestures because trust me there are certain gestures that definitely mean more than one thing, like flying a kite :)(boys in India, as confirmed by a survey, see(http://digg.com/educational/Worldwide_Average_Age_of_Virginity_Loss_2) wait till the age of 19.8, now how does this weird figure is given by these survey people, anyways I don't agree with this , because logically thinking males start realizing the purpose of their very own hands and its sole purpose, till the time they get the the chance to explore why condoms are made for!!)I just mentioned this as you may compare the kite flying with the M process.
Now , there are certain circumstances which for the sake of understanding is termed as “Laugh at me “ circumstances(only I have termed it ) and the following incident had to happen infront of 63, may be 64 people (I don’t remember) (.Fuck the bad luck)
A young handsome first year engg. college stud dressed in slim fit jeans and a body hugging t-shirt was very confident to make a Tom Cruise - Top Gun entry in his very first class.
It was a sunny but breezy,( because of the greenery around the college campus) August morning (typically as that in , New friends colony, New Delhi). The wind trying hard to mess up his well gelled long hair but at last our boy had the last laugh. His biceps flexing as he makes an entry into the college(obviously when girls took notice) his chest expands a full 4 inches.
A few minutes later just when he was making an entrance in the class (not at all afraid of reaching a well 15 minutes late for the class) with a smile on the face …
“May I come in sir??” (his eye on all the pretty ladies in the front row)
The prof didn’t say anything (probably as it was the first lecture), but just did something with the first two fingers of his right hand as if giving final strokes with a brush to his masterpiece (his eyes stuck deep inside the book as if the oldie was reading the P*** book first time after his college days).
The boy without saying anything came out of the class and started walking back , when he heard a roar of laughter from his class , he swiveled back with a intriguing spirit (now spirits all bogged down and a sense of becoming a subject of mockery in front of the whole class), and to add to his misery he saw the prof standing out and shouting(trying to roar but sounded like a sheepish yelp)
Hey!! Where do you think you are going?
The confused boy ( you all must have now realized who this joker was) replied
“Sir , I am sorry but you only signaled me to leave ..”
“Stupid I was signaling u to come in, you fool”(I have always believed that these gestures are confusing!!!!)
Imagine the first day , first class in the college (with all the publicity n praise I wanted to have) resulted in a night mare.
Well, now you must be thinking that what was supposed to be a dream entry for me had become a never healing sore for the rest of my life. That’s what I thought after this incident but the Almighty had a sweet surprise in store for me.
Later , I came to know that the students were not laughing at me but at the prof for a fresher just walking out of his class like a freedom fighters used to do counter attack those cruel and satanic colonial Britishers,( The prof had asked the student that where did I go after his Bloody hand signal).
And yes after that I had to live up to the expectations of my class mates and some delhi girls who thought I am cool n daring (trust me I am the biggest fool on earth!!..daring, may be Rajat YKS Sumit Rahul or Agastya will tell you better . Now don't strain ur brains out thinking who the hell are thay? These smart asses will be discussed later in my next posts..trust me you would have never met such punters!!) about doing these daring things again and again .(never told them that I misunderstood the prof’s action)
After this incident I vowed to understand all these physical gestures Thanks to youtube I can now say that I understand them properly.
Like, just now Agastya is showing the ring in his middle finger, a green sapphire, beautiful I must say.(I don’t why is he showing it, I have been looking at it since 5 years now and have praised it a lot, anyway , I will praise his ring again).
“Nice ring brother. I love that, but I have seen and praised it a hundred times!” I smiled at Agastya.
Everybody in the room where I was telling the truth about the above incident stared at me with dumbstruck eyes, even the house fly that was flying around me slammed itself against the wall after hearing me. Everybody looked at each other and then there was half an hour laughing session in the room.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)